fuckyeah1990s:
“ritnou:
“ So I was telling some of my friends I work with about how when everyone else was being princesses and cheerleaders and the spice girls for halloween I had turned to my mother and said,
“Mum. I want to be an Alien.”
So she...

dalishpariah:

we opened at 11 this morning. i watched an old man literally pry the fucking sliding doors open at 10:43 and stand there just staring into the empty store and my coworker & i were like sir. for the love of fuck

  • long legged spider: hey
  • scientist: daddy
  • long legged spider: what the fuck

adriankarl:

you ever wanna fuck the living shit outta somebody but also cook for them and make sure they’re emotionally stable?